Interruptions

"Oh God, here she comes again" I thought to myself as Mai-te, my 1 1/2 yr. old housemate/Peruvian little sister came running into my room. I had just sat down to rest for a few minutes before I walked to the school I work at. Everyday Mai-te comes running into my room wanting to play exactly when I begin to lay down after lunch.

"Not today, seriously...I just want to lay here"

But, like usually her foot steps get louder and she suddenly appears in my doorway with a smile bigger than the world. She stands in the doorway until I signal for her to come to my bed.

She greets me with a kiss on the cheek.

Thats when I was reminded of something Henry Nouwen said - Most of the things we think are interruptions in our life are actually not interruptions. These things are life.

We are just so busy with the real interruptions of life like a nap or work or reading or shopping that we miss life happening before our eyes. We try to power through everything else, considering anything that gets in our way an interruption.

Today, Mai-te started as an interruption of my nap. But in reality, my nap was the interruption. The interruption of a very simple but important human interaction. My nap was an interruption of life.

Why Read?

The other day, I looked through the books that I have read since I have been here. As I thumbed through them, I realized that I could barely remember the plot or main subject of half the books. I thought that this was rediculous and began to get mad at myself. Why was I reading anyway? For quantity? To be able to say I have read this author or that author? It really frustrated me. Wy dont I spend more time in the street in Peru helping people instead of reading? That seemed to make more sense. as I sat there and thought about this I realized something extremely important:

It doesnt matter how much we read or what we read unless we let the content enter our present lives and become more than just words.

I realized that the importance of what I was reading only came to life when I let the book change me as I read it. Its ok if 2 months from now I cant tell you my favorite chapter or quote for this or that book. What is important is that I apply what I read today to my life and actions today. If I let a book change me right now, my actions will continue to reflect the most important parts of a book 2 months or 2 years from now.

It would be worse to be able to to tell you every important part of a certain book but not have my life reflect the words in it. Whats the point of reading if we dont let the words become real? I can talk about and quote any book in the world but if my actions remain stagnant, that is when reading and learning go in vain.

A New Story

I have been reading a rediculous amount lately. I love the culture here in Peru very relaxing. There is always time to do whatever needs to be done. This week I read a book by Paulo Coehlo called The Zahir. It really spoke to my heart about my current state of mind. In the book, the main character meets a young man that tells him that he needs to forget his "story", or his past in order to become who he is. At the same time, I was reading a book by Brennan Manning that implied the same idea about our relationship with God. What spoke to my heart is this:

We need to stop being who we were in order to become who we are.

Though our past experiences have helped shaped who we are, we cannot let them dictate who we are in this present time. It is dangerous to let our past failures and fears control our actions in the present. We need to forget our story and our past and allow today to be today. We need to allow who we are now to decide how we will act or react to what today presents to us.

Each day here is Peru is a new day with new experiences. But as I have said before, you dont have to be in Peru in order to realize that each day is new and has something important to teach us. If I continued to live as I was, or be who I was, I would not have half the amazing experiences I have had so far. I would not have aloud myself to be in some of the situations I have been in that have proved tp be amazing. Why? Because of my part failures and my past fears and my past pride and my past embarrassment.

Today is today and I am who I am today. Not who I was yesterday and not who I will be tomorrow. If we continue to be who we were or allow ourselves to only think about who we will be in the future, we will continue to miss the importance of today. And what else do we really have than today?

Forgive Me

I have done a terrible job at posting. If anyone actually reads this, please forgive me. I will make a serious effort to write more often.

Huancayo is amazing. Everday is different. I work in the mornings at a school for childen who cannot afford the supplies to go to public school. It is truly humbling. Today, just as I was beginning to become immune to the poverty the children live in, I was humbled yet again. Paola the other professor, and I were measuring the height of the children. One by one I took off their shoes only to see that most children were wearing no socks, socks with holes, or shoes that were to big or to small for them. I could not help but to think that the majority of the world lives in these conditions. It is truly heartbreaking.

In all honestly, some days I feel like I am doing nothing; Like I am not making any difference. It is frsutrating, but I realize that on these days I need to listen to my heart(something that I have grown accustom to not doing) and realize that I am here for a reason bigger than my own feelings. Each day holds a "magic moment" when I have a chance to make a difference for somebody or something. Whether it small or big, I cannot let these moments pass me by.

Thank you to everyone who is helping raise money for the school. You truly are blessing to these children. You dont have to fly across the world to make a difference. Thank you again.