It is a small world.
Two days ago I had a beer with a couple that I met in the mountains in Peru 9 months ago. In case I hadn't mentioned it yet, I am definitely in Thailand. Nearly half way around the world from Peru. I would be holding back important evidence if I didnt say that we planned on meeting at some point in SE Asia but I still find it amazing!
Mark and Maddy have been traveling for nearly 16 months and will be going back home next month. We sat at a small bar talking and they told me exciting stories of their travels and and we reminicsed about all the ways I made a fool of myself the last time we had seen each other.
Toward the end of our conversation we began to talk about India. I wanted to pick their brain about it because I will be going there next month and havent really done any research. They began to tell me stories of the cities they had been to, the food they had eaten, and the people they met. It all sounds terribly exciting. During that conversation about India Mark said something that struck a cord in my mind.
Mark said that before they went to India their senses(touch, smell...) were on stanby. He made it sounds like they were being stached away only to be brought out in case of some kind of emergency. They were so used to England that its smells and the sites and feels didnt really stand out at all. But the moment they hit the ground in Delhi and for nearly 2 months after their senses were continuously stimulated. The smells and sights and tastes were to much to not take in. It would be impossible to let your senses stay on stanby while being there.
For some reason I immediately linked what Mark was saying about his senses being on stanby to my emotions being in a similar state before I left home. In retrospect I can truthfully say that most of my emotions were on stanby when I was back at home. I was so used to living and existing in that environment that nothing really tugged on my emotions. But almost immediately when I landed in Peru and consistantly until this day my emotions have been stimulated(if that makes sense) and "used" so much. The things I am experiencing are to much to keep my emotions on stanby.
Its a sad day when we let our lives become so regular and so routine that we put our emotions on stanby. Doing this can hold us back from doing and becoming so many things. To think at 24 I had got myself into a way of life that allowed my emotions to become idle is quite scary. I made a promise to myself the other day that no matter where I am in life, if I see my emotions becoming idle and being put on stanby I will walk away from that life immediately.
Life is to amazing to not feel it.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The Beauty of Time
I think it is absolutely beautiful that as I am going to bed, many are waking up. As I end my day others are beginning their day.
I tend to have this idea that Time belongs to me and will do as I command. But in reality Time belongs to no human mind and cannot be confined or pressured into doing what we want. Time is something that we can count on minute to minute. It never fails us as the seconds go by. But if you try to put time into a nicely wrapped box with all your plans in it, Time will jump out quicker than you can imangine.
I am constanly trying to "lasso" Time and hog tie it to whatever I am feeling at the time. But what good does that do me? It gives me the satisfaction of feeling like I know what my life holds for me. It gives me the illusion that I can control when my life happens. "I'll go home in Decemeber, start an MBA program, work for year, and then go back to China where my heart is."
Who do I think I am to tell Time that this is how its going to work?
I think it is absolutely beautiful that as I go to bed, people are waking up. And I believe that it is even more beautiful that no matter how much I try to tell Time what to do, it wont give in. Time will let me experience life as it comes, day to day, not as I plan it.
I tend to have this idea that Time belongs to me and will do as I command. But in reality Time belongs to no human mind and cannot be confined or pressured into doing what we want. Time is something that we can count on minute to minute. It never fails us as the seconds go by. But if you try to put time into a nicely wrapped box with all your plans in it, Time will jump out quicker than you can imangine.
I am constanly trying to "lasso" Time and hog tie it to whatever I am feeling at the time. But what good does that do me? It gives me the satisfaction of feeling like I know what my life holds for me. It gives me the illusion that I can control when my life happens. "I'll go home in Decemeber, start an MBA program, work for year, and then go back to China where my heart is."
Who do I think I am to tell Time that this is how its going to work?
I think it is absolutely beautiful that as I go to bed, people are waking up. And I believe that it is even more beautiful that no matter how much I try to tell Time what to do, it wont give in. Time will let me experience life as it comes, day to day, not as I plan it.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Listening
Its not easy is it? Why do we always fake like we are listening but really we are just waiting for our turn to talk? We are waiting for that split second when we can slip our opinion in.
For awhile I felt like I had overcome this desire. I was never quick to speak when listening to all the people I have met since I have been gone. I almost enjoyed just listening and trying to hear out their ideas and perspectives and see where they are coming from. I had completely abandoned the basic human drive to get my two cents in. And I was learning that what I thought to be "right" is only based on my experience. So the more I listened, the more I understood the reasons why people who were different from me believed what they were saying to be "right", just like myself.
But like most things, when we take two steps forward, we are usually blind to the one step we are taking back. I realized this when my friends arrived in Bangkok.
A group of my best friends are here to visit me for a month. The particular friends are a group of amazing people and we always tend to turn a conversation about spicy sauce or something trival into a conversation about theology or polotics. We have always dont this and always will. I beleive this is why we are such good friends.
As we started to have these conversations I started to see how I was slipping back into the old me, the one who usually wasnt listening and was just waiting for his turn to speak. And I started to ask myself why this was happening. Why, when I was with people so close to me, people who support and enbrace my openmind, did I begin to regress?
I dont know if the motive was of open self willed pride or subconscience pride, but after thinking about it for while I came to this conclusion:
For some reason I had began to think that my experience outwieghed their experience. And because of that prideful state of mind I stopped listening so much becuase I subconciencely believed that what they were staying didnt mean as much as what I had said or was going to say. I think it was easier to do this with friends because when we know someone's experiences we always attribute their opinion to those experiences. But with a stranger, like the people I meet, we dont know much about their experiences so we have a more unbias take on what they are saying. We cant say they think "this" because they have seen "that." But with friends its much easier to do. We know both the "this" and "that" of our closer friends so we always tend to try to put the two together.
Though I obviously believe that experiences play a massive role in our opinions and thoughts, more or less experience doesnt always warrent more or less knowledge. Myself being the case and point.
There's not much of a point to this whole thing, no good punch like or closing statement. I just wanted to write it down. I think its good to look at who we are and realize that as we strive forward in our minds we can never forget that we are always on a slippery slope. I tend to think of progess as leaps and bounds but really its more like crawling. Speaking with my friends and realized the underlying pride in my speech with them reminded me of this.
For awhile I felt like I had overcome this desire. I was never quick to speak when listening to all the people I have met since I have been gone. I almost enjoyed just listening and trying to hear out their ideas and perspectives and see where they are coming from. I had completely abandoned the basic human drive to get my two cents in. And I was learning that what I thought to be "right" is only based on my experience. So the more I listened, the more I understood the reasons why people who were different from me believed what they were saying to be "right", just like myself.
But like most things, when we take two steps forward, we are usually blind to the one step we are taking back. I realized this when my friends arrived in Bangkok.
A group of my best friends are here to visit me for a month. The particular friends are a group of amazing people and we always tend to turn a conversation about spicy sauce or something trival into a conversation about theology or polotics. We have always dont this and always will. I beleive this is why we are such good friends.
As we started to have these conversations I started to see how I was slipping back into the old me, the one who usually wasnt listening and was just waiting for his turn to speak. And I started to ask myself why this was happening. Why, when I was with people so close to me, people who support and enbrace my openmind, did I begin to regress?
I dont know if the motive was of open self willed pride or subconscience pride, but after thinking about it for while I came to this conclusion:
For some reason I had began to think that my experience outwieghed their experience. And because of that prideful state of mind I stopped listening so much becuase I subconciencely believed that what they were staying didnt mean as much as what I had said or was going to say. I think it was easier to do this with friends because when we know someone's experiences we always attribute their opinion to those experiences. But with a stranger, like the people I meet, we dont know much about their experiences so we have a more unbias take on what they are saying. We cant say they think "this" because they have seen "that." But with friends its much easier to do. We know both the "this" and "that" of our closer friends so we always tend to try to put the two together.
Though I obviously believe that experiences play a massive role in our opinions and thoughts, more or less experience doesnt always warrent more or less knowledge. Myself being the case and point.
There's not much of a point to this whole thing, no good punch like or closing statement. I just wanted to write it down. I think its good to look at who we are and realize that as we strive forward in our minds we can never forget that we are always on a slippery slope. I tend to think of progess as leaps and bounds but really its more like crawling. Speaking with my friends and realized the underlying pride in my speech with them reminded me of this.
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