Valleys

Wow. I have been in China for nearly 3 months now. It seems like I just arrived from Mongolia yesterday. My time here has been more than amazing. The friends I have made and the work I have been a part of have definitely been the highlight of my trip so far. I truly cant put into words the significance of what this organization (New Hope Foundation) is doing for these kids.

Now, after 3 months, I can walk into any playroom in our home(there are 3) and I will be tackled by little rugrats before I can shut the door. I no longer need to bribe the kids with candy and chocolate to play with me. If a child catches me walking down the hall they come running at me knowing I will soon administer my signiture "tickle torture" technique on them. The nannies hand over babies to me when they are crying and to my disbelief they actually stop crying when they are in my arms. And yes, I actually changed a diaper(emphasis on "a", but it still counts).

I feel at home in many ways.

But with all of this surrounding me, I feel as though my heart has left a mountain top and entered into a valley in a way. I have had a feeling of defeat for some time now. I cant explain why. I am surrounding by life and imagination here, but cannot capture it. Its as if the passion in my my heart has escaped me and I dont know how to get it back. I read somewhere, and have probably said this before, that "in order to get to the next mountain top, you have to go through a valley." I do believe this and acknowledge the upmost importance of the struggles of life, but that never really makes it much easier does it?

When I was in Peru, I did a 5-day trek that ended with watching the sunrise over the historic ruins of Machu Picchu. 5 days. It wasnt an Everst attempt but it was phyically trying. On the last day, we had the option of treking to the peak of Machu Picchu in the dark or taking a 15 minute bus. Me and my new friend Sergio decided we wouldnt feel right taking the bus and at 4:00am went on our merry way up the mountain. On a scale of 1-5, 1 being relatively easy and 5 being extremely strenuous, I would say the next 2 hours were about a 7. Seriously. I am not exagerating. But if we slowed down we would miss the sunrise and that, in our minds, would be a devistating thing. So we kept going. Sergio was more fit than me so I had to keep stopping to catch my breath but we eventually made it. And, luckily for us, before the sunrise. So we climbed up a couple more rocks and found a good seat to watch the sun come up over the mystical mountains of Peru. As the sun slowly crept up from behind the peaks, we looked at each other and in our eyes you could see that the trek that morning had made the sunrise even more beautiful to us. Sometimes, most the time, the climb is worth the view.

Im not sure how far I am into my climb out of this valley right now. Maybe an hour, maybe 2, maybe 15 minutes. Either way, I know that the sunrise at the top in going to be beauiful and I cant wait to see it.